Crush. Kill. Destroy.

I'm reminded again of the fragility of the human spirit, and the enduring power of words.

My eldest cousin was the perpetrator of many dangerous, painful, inappropriate, and grievous crimes against my body and spirit.  One of her most enduring legacies in my life (at least of the ones I'm willing to share publicly) was generated through a collection of dolls she had at her house--Johnny & Jane West.

The accessory pieces were often tiny and rather fragile for young hands.  I accidentally broke a piece of Jane West's horse tack while unsaddling her horse.  For the remainder of my visit, my cousin walked around me when no adults were present, and she flailed her arms like Robby the Robot in the Lost In Space re-run we had viewed the day before.  

"Crush. Kill. Destroy."

She cruelly repeated the words over and over again, and never truly forgave my offense.

Lost in Space 

In the TV show, Robby the Robot had run amuck and was out to destroy everything in his path.  He was dangerous and willful. He was inhuman and virtually inhumane--capable of nothing better.

Fast forward 40 years.

This has been a rough week marked by some relational misunderstandings and consequent strife...not a happy time.  For days I couldn't put my finger on it, but this morning I realized that the core-slashing wound of those words--words which were compounded and supported by even worse yet similar ones at home--were speaking out from the dead place in my soul where they resided...right next to the sorrow over having accidentally wounded a loved one.  "Crush. Kill. Destroy."  Repeat ad nauseum.

Of course, it is my job to reply to that message with God's Truth about me--with the love and comfort that the Almighty has for a badly mistreated little girl, and the wisdom He has for the woman she's become.  Still, I am reminded again, today, of the power that words have to harm or to heal.  I am reminded to study and be judicious with my own words. 

Be careful out there.

Proverbs 18:21

The Message (MSG)

 ²¹ Words kill, words give life;
   they're either poison or fruit—you choose.

Kitchen Table Notes

Dear "Mom"
I know you're totally toast and dealing with heavy mom-stuff that us kids aren't supposed to know about or see. We can pretty much handle all the day-to-day stuff, and even some momming of one another a lot of the time. You'd be so proud of us if you could see us in action.  We don't want to embarrass you by poking our noses in on your stuff, or by taking over jobs that you like to do, though, so don't be too tough on us if we seem like we don't care...or if we ask too much or too little of you.  We don't mind being a little mixed up because we love you.  We just like knowing you're home and ours.
Love,
One of your daughters
P.S. - Left a box of pretty tissues on your nightstand, and prayed for you this morning. 


Hey "Sis"
I stopped by, but you weren't home so I let myself in and took out the trash for you.  Girl! That's a lot of tissues!!!  What's happening? You know you can always call me...even if I do manage to say just the wrong thing and totally bug you. But we're still stuck together like glue forever, so...talk to me. I have chocolate. You get the wine. No matter what's on you're heart I'm here and promise not to judge you.
I love you...
Your other sister
P.S. - Went to COSTCO and got you a case of Kleenex. :'(  Praying. I promise!!!


Alright girlfriend...I know you're in there, and I know it's bad times. 
There was a package by your door, so I used my key and brought the box in for ya. I was just stopping by to bring you dinner and a plate of chocolate chips...just because. Saw the trash collector in front of your house and tossing a case of empty snot boxes into the truck. Left you the new mascara I bought for myself, and I'm reminding you that I seen you without any...and worse...and I never tell anyone.  I'll call later tonight. Answer even if you're a mess.  Don't make me hunt your butt down. You know I will. Hahahahah...
TOTALLY LOVE YOU!!!
Your home girl! (Ha!)
P.S. - Called my stock broker. Bought you 100 shares of Puffs (Kleenex are murder on the nose) and left my grandma's hanky on your pillow. (Yes! It's clean!!!)  Can I come back later and pray with you?  Praying everyday all the time anyway...for real!!!


Hey lady...sorry to bug you, but...
I was behind you in the grocery store, and noticed that you dropped this pretty handkerchief.  I called after you, but I guess you didn't hear me.  I followed you home, and rang the bell, but you didn't answer.  You left your keys in the door, and that didn't seem safe, so I took 'em out and left them here on the table with the hanky.  Hope you're OK. Had a Bible in my purse. Left that for you too. Check out Isaiah 46:3b-4.
Peace...
The gal behind you in Publix
P.S. - That's really pretty hanky.  My grandma had one just like it.  :)  I prayed for you all the way here.  I'll remember you again tonight before I go to bed.



My daughter...
I've heard so many prayers with your name in them.  And I have heard all of your cries, even the ones you didn't utter. I've been right here with you the whole time.  Who do you think brought all the tissues? Talk to me. Walk with me. Rest in me.  I'll dry every tear, and I'll always bring you help...even when you don't know what to ask for.
Eternally yours,
Your Father...God

Be Careful Out There...

mistakes will not be tolerated.

“It was one thing to make a mistake; it was another thing to keep making it. I knew what happened when you let yourself get close to someone, when you started to believe they loved you: you'd be disappointed. Depend on someone, and you might as well admit you're going to be crushed, because when you really needed them, they wouldn't be there. Either that, or you'd confide in them and you added to their problems. All you ever really had was yourself, and that sort of sucked if you were less than reliable.” 

~ Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care

“Will’s voice dropped. “Everyone makes mistakes, Jem.”
“Yes,” said Jem. “You just make more of them than most people.”
“I —”
“You hurt everyone,” said Jem. “Everyone whose life you touch.”
“Not you,” Will whispered. “I hurt everyone but you. I never meant to
hurt you.”
Jem put his hands up, pressing his palms against his eyes. “Will —”
“You can’t never forgive me,” Will said in disbelief, hearing the
panic tinging his own voice. “I’d be —”
“Alone?” Jem lowered his hand, but he was smiling now, crookedly. “And
whose fault is that?”
~ Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

“It is part of the human nature always to judge others very severely and,when the wind turns against us,always to find an excuse for our own misdeeds,or to blame someone else for our mistakes.”

~ Paulo Coelho, Like the Flowing River

“Everyone's life is a mess. Everyone's. We all make mistakes . . . and not just little slip-ups. Major mistakes that hurt us and other people.” 

~ James Alan Gardner, Trapped

 

“You seemed to be listening to me, not to find out useful information, but to try to catch me in a logical fallacy. This tells us all that you are used to being smarter than your teachers, and that you listen to them in order to catch them making mistakes and prove how smart you are to the other students. This is such a pointless, stupid way of listening to teachers that it is clear you are going to waste months of our time before you finally catch on that the only transaction that matters is a transfer of useful information from adults who possess it to children who do not, and that catching mistakes is a criminal misuse of time.” 

~ Orson Scott Card, Ender's Shadow

All the crap about being "free" to make mistakes, and how "wisdom" is the yield of mistakes--all the biblical and pop-psychological yammering about how forgiving people for their mistakes leads to freedom--HAH! Nice ideas.  Too bad no one actually practices them when caught up in their own errors, or when confronted with the opportunity to practice what they preach.

Whose Report Will You Believe?

Many a discouraged Christian (or encourager of same) asks this question--inspired by Isaiah 53:1...


Who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?


I don't claim that the verse is rightly used by anyone...including myself.  Yet there is a constant battle for our belief, isn't there?  Not only belief in the report of Christ's saving grace--His amazing,redeeming love--but also belief in one another and ourselves.  So much unbelief is the pleasure of the enemy.  


Liar. Thief. Satan. Devil. Serpent.  


Hate him early and often.  Determine against all natural instincts to refuse the lies. Use every last ounce of your strength to utter the great Name of Jesus to bind, rebuke, and dismiss the evil one who would rob you of your faith both by swift, hard blows and slow, numbing half-truths. 


Dress out in the full armor of God, then, with love as the maker of each garment.  Without it--without love-spun amor--we haven't the first chance of joy.  Without it we build our own prisons, starve our own souls, and dig more graves than we realize.


I was watching Ingrid Bergman's portrayal of Anastasia Romanov, today. I was reminded how important it is to be believed and to hang onto those whom we cherish.

Ingrid Bergman as Anastasia

Last night, my little girl and I watched Horton Hears a Who and I was struck by the message of persistence and the importance of listening carefully, generously...believingly. 

Poor Horton.  What humiliation, fear, and pain he endured because no one would believe his report! Thank God for the Hortons and the JoJos in this world...the ones who don't give up on others or themselves...even when all seems lost.

We Are Here!

Matthew 11:15 says, He who has ears, let him hear. We don't need elephant ears to believe the the good news of Jesus, or to believe kindly about one another.

Commitment. Courage. Faith. Humility. Love. Vulnerability. Willingness.  

These are the characteristics of those who believe.

Résumé & Girl Interrupted

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.


Dorothy Parker

Girl Interrupted 

Words on Waiting

If I'm honest then I confess that I am not a very good waitress these days...at least not in the noise of my mind.  I have to work hard to contemplate peace and tap into a silent place in my soul.  But once I am there, I am immoveable. I know my own...

What matter if I stand alone?
I wait with joy the coming years;
My heart shall reap where it hath sown,
And garner up its fruit of tears.

The waters know their own and draw
The brook that springs in yonder height;
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul of pure delight.

The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave unto the sea;
Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,
Can keep my own away from me. 

~ from Waiting by John Burroughs

Lights Across the Sky...

Life leads us to hope
It leads us to cope
But it cannot carry us home
I need you to go
I need you to know
That you don't have to go it alone

And we'll all break free
And we'll all break free

 Lights Across the Sky

They've got me wondering wondering why

Some people live

And others they die

And those who can't love

They still try

They still try

They still try

They still try

Five fortunate prayers

Three wishes to bear

Will two become one 'til we care?
Well I'll meet you there

Wearing a shirt made of hair

Just look for my stare

And we'll all break free

And we'll all break free

Lights across the sky

They've got me wondering wondering why

Some people live

And others they die

And those who can't love

They still try

They still try

They still try

They still try

They still try

They still try

  

Lights across the sky

They've got me wonderin' wonderin' why

Some people live

And others they die

And those who can't love

They still try

They still try

Lights across the sky

They've got me wonderin' wonderin' why

Some people live

And others they cry

And those who can't win

They still try

They still try

They still try

They still try

Life leads us to love

It leads to above

And we are the lucky ones

~ Nat Jay