Thursday, April 5, 2012

Fevered Thoughts

Fevers bring on some strange thoughts.  Once you cross the 101 mark, and the mercury keeps rising, even your brain starts to strip down to try and cool off! 

I spent 3 or 4 nights with my brain dressing and undressing while my thermometer rose, fell, and then spiked to wild heights. It was like some kind of cerebral overdrive effort to solve every problem that had ever passed through my neurological pathways.  

I "tweeted" my way through last night's episode.  Apparently I was thinking a lot about kindness.

I remember rolling over to get comfortable and thinking, "People are really much more comfortable with anger than with kindness. Why is that?" I'm not sure I came to THE answer in my febrile fidgeting, but some interesting ideas were transmitting there in the darkness.

One thing that came to mind was the way that anger tends to generate a bizarre sort of suspicion toward kindness...and I think so many people are really angry. People who are angry feel burdened by kindness...wondering what will be wanted or expected in return.

A person who is content is always glad and heartened to receive a kindness--great or small. 
People who are at peace with God, self, and others are just genuinely glad and grateful for kindness. 

Discontented people are afraid of being in debt. They don't want to owe anyone anything. They don't want their needs known because they don't want to be needed. Gratitude is a weight around the neck.

But people whose hearts are content don't think that way. Content people are good receivers. They like kindness because they aren't worried about motives, or debts, or mistakes. Content people have great stores of forgiveness and are satisfied from within. Their thoughts are fixed on good things.

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